Tim Minchin - The Good Book Chords
1Life is like an ocean voyage and our bodies are the ships
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4And without a moral compass we would all be cast adrift
7So to keep us on our bearings, the Lord gave us a gift
10And like most gifts you get, it was a book
15I only read one book, but it's a good book, don't you know
18I act the way I act because the Good Book tells me so
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21If I wanna known how to be good, it's to the Good Book that I go
24'Cos the Good Book is a book and it is good and it's a book
28I know the Good Book's good because the Good Book says it's good
30I know the Good Book knows it's good because a really good book would
32You wouldn't cook without a cookbook and I think it's understood
34You can't be good without a Good Book 'cos it's good and it's a book
36And it is good for cookin'
41I tried to read some other books, but I soon gave up on that
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44The paragraphs ain't numbered and they complicate the facts
47I can't read Harry Potter 'cos they're worshipping false gods and that
50And Dumbledore's a poofter and that's bad, 'cos it's not good
54Morality is written there in simple white and black
56I feel sorry for you heathens, got to think about all that
58Good is good and evil's bad and goats are good and pigs are crap
60You'll find which one is which in the Good Book, 'cos it's good
62And it's a book, and it's a book
66I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter
68The kittens were adorable and they made my family laugh
70But as they grew they started misbehavin'
72So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath
74When the creatures in your care start being menaces
77The answers can be found right there in Genesis!
80Chapter 6, Verse 5-7!
85Swing your partner by the hand
88Have a baby if you can
91But if the voices your head
95Say to sacrifice your kid
98To satiate your loving God's
101Fetish for dead baby blood
104It's simple faith, the Book demands
108So raise that knife up in your hand!
113Before the Good Book made us good, there was no good way to know
116If a thing was good or not that good or kind of touch and go
120So God decided he'd give writing allegoric prose a go
122And so he wrote a book and it was generally well-received
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127The Telegraph said, "This God is reminiscent of the Norse."
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130The Times said, "Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses."
133The Mail said, "Lots of massacres, a violent tour de force.
136If you only read one book this year, then this one is a book
139And it is good, and it's a book!"
143Swing your daughter by the hand
145But if she gets raped by a man
147And refuses then to marry him
149Stone her to death!
154If you just close your eyes and block your ears
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157To the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years
160Then morally, guess what? You're off the hook
163And thank Christ you only have to read one book
168Just because the book's contents
171Were written generations hence
174By hairy desert-dwelling gents
177Squatting in their dusty tents
180Just because what Heaven said
183Was said before they'd leavened bread
186Just 'cos Jesus couldn't read
189Doesn't mean that we should need
192When manipulating human genes
195To alleviate pain and fight disease
198When deciding whether it's wrong or right
201To help the dyin' let go of life
204Or stop a pregnancy when it's
208Just a tiny blastocyst
211There's no reason why we should take a look
214At any other book
217But the Good Book
220'Cause it's good
224And it's a book
227And it's a book
231And it's quite good!
238Good is good and evil's bad
241And kids get killed when God gets mad
244And you'd better take a good look
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247At the Good Book